What a way to start off the year

So...it's 2008 and the year is new and fresh. I would like to say I will resolve to write daily, but it is now January 10th and this is only my first entry for the year...I don't do resolutions. :)

However, there is something I would like to share, in the spirit of telling the world about God's grace in my little world.

Last year, in April, doctors found 3 nodules in my thyroid during an investagative ultrasound. In November, they repeated the ultrasound and found, not only had the nodules grown in size, but they were joined by two new friends. The decision was made, because of family history and my own concerns about what an ever growing thyroid would do to my voice, to biposy three of the meanest-looking nodules. I received the results of that biopsy this morning.

My biggest fear in all of this has been about my voice. I have been "missing" notes for months, where I will simply open my mouth and no sound will come, but if I change to a different tone, the sound is there. Now, there are occasional breaks in my voice, where I will be holding a note but I can't seem to keep the sound coming. Most of my performer friends will understand my fear. Though, I do not (yet) make my living with my voice, it is my passion and my ministry.

Let me say, first, I know that this is in God's hands and He will do with my voice as He sees fit. He gave me the gift, He gave me the passion. He will be glorified in whatever happens.

The good news is that there is no cancer at this time. Family history indicates that we still have to keep an eye on the situation, but the immediate fear has passed.

I do have other conditions that cause my thyroid to malfunction from time to time and I am on medications to even some of this out, but the inflammations still happen. As I was informed today, although the thyroid is not near (relatively speaking) the vocal chords, the nerve that controls the vocal chords runs right next to the thyroid, and it is possible that either the nodules themselves or merely the periodic inflammations are causing the loss of notes and breaking in my voice. Then there is the possibility that it is something else altogether, and has nothing to do with the thyroid. So, before we take the drastic measure of removing the thyroid simply to get the nodules out of the way, my doctor has recommended that I seek the services of a voice specialist to make sure there is nothing else wrong and that everything is working properly. The last thing we would want to do is remove the thyroid and find out that there is still a problem (then I would have had needless surgery). And the surgery to remove the thyroid is not without risk, either, given its proximity to the nerves of my vocal chords. It is possible that I could have permanent hoarseness or lose my voice forever, in the unlikely event that there is damage to the nerves during the surgery.

At any rate, God is in control. Right now, I am waiting and seeking God's will in visiting a voice specialist. I want to wait to make sure that all the irritation of the biopsy and any subsequent swelling have gone and see if time makes a difference.

So, while I am not completely healed, I am at peace. As my wonderful husband has said a number of times, "God's got this!"