Wait

Have you ever felt useless? I know I have. I know others who have. Some feel useless because they don't believe they have marketable skills. Some feel useless because they didn't finish school. Some feel useless because they don't have what they thought they would have by this time. Some because they are too old. Some because they are too fat. Some because they aren't pretty enough. Some because they think themselves stupid. Some because they are pessimists. Some because they are sure the entire world is out to get them. Some because they feel like God has abandoned them...

But think about those times when you have felt useful. Everyone has them...even if they don't feel useful now. Sometimes you have to dig down deep to remember that feeling because it's been a long time. When you have helped someone solve a problem. When you have been that shoulder to cry on. When you've brought food or clothing to someone because they needed it. When you have sung your child to sleep after a bad dream. When you've made dinner for friends. When you've told someone you love them. Sometimes those moments are fleeting because we, as humans tend to focus on all the things that make us useless, rather than what makes us useful.

For those like me who believe that God loves us and sacrificed His son for us, how can we ever really believe that we are useless? What in the world would He have sacrificed Jesus for, if we had no usefulness? That's foolish...and God is not.

We have been told over and over that God has a purpose for each one of us...that He has planted a desire in our heart and a gift in our spirit and a talent in our hands and He wouldn't just mismatch these things. They will line up. He promised that. He said he would give us the desires of our heart. He planted it there, He will make it bloom. But He didn't say when.


The problem is waiting...God's human creations have no patience. The flowers do, the animals do...but we don't. And thus the human existance is one of worry and bitterness and self-loathing because WE can't make it happen for ourselves. We place the blame on ourselves for not figuring out what we are supposed to do RIGHT NOW. How arrogant of us. This is not about us...this is about God and His glory.

So, here am I...use me as You will, Lord. I struggle for patience, yes. But I wait on you, Lord. You have planted this flower...I will wait for you to make it bloom.

That's the prayer I hope we can all have. He PROMISED. And God will not betray His children. I know it. I embrace it. I wait.

Wassup?

I have some profound things to say, but I haven't quite gotten the words in the right order in my head yet...so I will save that for naptime tomorrow. In the meantime, I have some photos to share.


Brothers...the cutest on the planet.


Look at the amount of cheese on that face...just like his father.


Me and my oldest.


Wearing Bubba's shoes...


They are both crazy...


Jack loves Buttercup!


We are working on getting that tooth out, but it just won't seem to come...he's hoping for an "America's Funniest Home Video" out of this.

Goodnight all!

Feeling blah...

You know those days...just not feeling up to scratch...well, that's today for me. Little bit of a sore throat, a headache, though that comes from caffeine withdrawal, and kind of fatigued.

I have a lot on my mind at the moment...the biggest thing being I can't seem to find any motivation for anything...I need to find additional income, and though I have a couple of options, none are exciting me...why do I feel so apathetic? I want to sing...that's what I want to do...that's what I have ALWAYS wanted to do...why can't I just make money at that? Huh? Guess that would be because I am not working for it. I can't believe that my music career is gone simply because of age or family...I just know that the timing is not right now. I'll know when the time comes, if it comes...but there are other things I need to be focused on...like my family.

That's what I am doing...

God grant me patience in your timing...that is my plea today.

That's all I have to say today...just a blah kind of day...

My bra is on backwards...

That comes from a quote submitted by Funny.co.uk:
You know its going to be a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

Well, that's today. It has just been an all-around rotten day. Jack was in quite a state today, I didn't seem to get anything accomplished and every time I tried, Jack made it apparent that if all my attention wasn't on him WE were going to be miserable and then Caleb added his contribution by continually ignoring everything I said.

I didn't get the bathrooms cleaned, I didn't get my bed changed, I couldn't do the dishes because Jack wanted to "help", and I couldn't cook nor did I want to eat because I was just so frustrated by the time Michael walked in the door, I just wanted to be alone.


Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband that let me escape for a while and even more thankfully, tomorrow is a new day...but good lord, if I have another day like today, I think I may have to go back to work... :) Just kidding...I wouldn't trade this for anything, but some days are just like running on a hampster wheel.

Completely different train of thought (all aboard the Jump-the-Track Express):
By the way, I am looking for part-time employment (hopefully at the Y) where I can bring my son or work out of my home...just be in prayer for me about that. I need adult time during the day...and the extra moola won't come amiss either. :)

All is quiet...

So I am sitting here at home on the first day of school in my stay-at-home-momdom and it’s awfully quiet. Jack is napping and I am almost lonely…I’ve just gotten used to two months of it never being quiet (less noisy, maybe, but never quiet) and I am having a hard time thinking about what its going to be like having this every day. I am sure I will get used to it and a routine will begin to take shape, but for the time being, it’s much too quiet here.

I haven’t written in over a month and that has made me bottle a lot up too. So here are a few things that have happened this summer:


We’ve gone to the zoo several times…that was cool. No, actually, it was extremely not cool, temperature-wise, but we did have fun! Let me just say, the building that has the lizards and frogs and snakes and fish and stuff, has displays of bugs that are far too large to be allowed to continue to live. I’m not trying to question God here, but, well, EWWWW! I can only say that if I ever run into one of these bugs and I haven’t passed out or I can manage to overcome my compulsive instinct to put as much distance between myself and the creatures that Adam should have stepped on instead of naming them, I will finish that job (of stepping on, or filleting or napalming, whatever).

My mother-in-law came to visit for a few days and Michael and I got an evening out to go see our friend Beth in “Smoke on the Mountain.” Very cute show. We had fun. And the boys were delighted to spend some time with Cece. That doesn’t happen very often. We are thinking about going south for the Christmas holiday and spending time with her. There’s nothing like spending Christmas on a chaise lounge with suntan lotion and a Mai Tai!


And we made our annual trip to Michigan to go canoeing down the Platte River in the northern part of the Lower Peninsula. As always, we LOVE this trip. And it was even more special because our bestest friends, the Bakers, got to join us this year! We spent Thursday, Friday and Sunday at my parents house on Dodge Lake tubing and cruising around the lake in Dad’s new pontoon boat. Saturday we spent lazing down the Platte in tubes and on floats. There were 28 of us on the river this year…a great group. Then back to the campground for dinner and s’mores and story telling… And let me tell you…Michael and I got so hooked on “Electronic Catchphrase” that we almost didn’t let the Bakers leave because we where having so much fun with it! Now we have to find one and host a party…there’s nothing like yelling at your friends and trying to get them to guess some of the most obscure phrases or words using even more obscure clues and gestures!


So, I think now that I have wiled away a few minutes here recapping my summer, I will go do some laundry and see if I can catch that darn sock faery. I am missing quite a few socks and I know she has them somewhere…

Happy Fourth!

This year, like last, we spent the fourth at a friend's house and then went to MTSU for the symphony and fireworks...very fun! I always enjoy being with our friends!

There's not much to write, but here are two things. First, do I look 31 to you? I don't feel it.


Second...I had a litte fun with Caleb's hair...he asked me to, let's be clear, but I went a little over the top...as I told my friend earlier this evening, it's not his act of rebellion, it's mine!

I took lots of photos...here are a few.


Jack's first time on a real swing that no one had to hold him in...he wasn't sure what to think...


A few sparklers before going off to see the big fireworks.


I have a feeling these three are going to be trouble in the very near future!


Here is Jack bustin' a move to the groovy orchestra that was playing.


Caleb's hair in all its glory!


Don't eat the baby...there are plenty of hot dogs...

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN you put those "3-D Fireworks Glasses" over the lens of your camera...pretty cool:





I am sure I will have something really profound to say about this great country we live in tomorrow, but tonight, I just wanted to post a few photos and share the fun evening we had! Hope you had a great 4th too! God Bless America!

Another year older...

So, tomorrow is my birthday. Yes, I am a firecracker baby and my mother got to watch the fireworks from the hospital window (I don't actually know if she could see them from her room, but you get the point).

I usually forget how old I am until someone asks. I've not been one of those that seems to have a problem with getting older. I figure as long as I still feel young, then I will be young. I do feel more aches and pains now than I did 15 years ago, but that's okay...I can still roll with the best of them.

The only thing I find myself being melancholy about is how fast the time has seemed to pass. I can still remember every detail about most events in my life, most of which took place 10 or more years ago. It certainly doesn't feel like that much time has passed since I was in high school or even college...but it sure has and I didn't imagine myself where I am today, but I wouldn't change it for the world! I love my boys!

So, tomorrow, I just want to relax and have a good day...and maybe some chocolate cake...and that will be good!

Here's a few pictures from the last few days: