My shoes are on!

So, there is so much to write here...but let's start here:  my shoes are on.  They were on at 7:00am this morning.  Why is that important?  Because it is the beginning of a journey.

God is so big and so amazing and so passionately in love with me.  That's an incredible truth.  And in light of that truth, and the plan I know He has for me, I have started with some changes in my life.  This blog has now become my journal that I share with others...my way of making my journey something that might help someone else.



I'll get into the whole testimony at some point, but I just want to tell you my starting points.  I will be sharing with you the changes I am making. 

At my women's Bible study, we are going through a book called "When Wallflowers Dance" by Angela Thomas.  One of the points she made last Friday was this:  we need to stop the chaos and restore order, both in our physical bodies and our physical homes.  I can't tell you how wonderful it was to know that the burden I have been under for sometime now is not just my OCD tendencies or some kind of self-made pressure I have put on myself.  God needs room to work in our lives.  And we crowd him out with work, hobbies, house, family, kids, soccer games, theatre, friends, football, church activities, Facebook, video games...basically, self-absorption.  So I have chosen to restore order in several places.

First, my home.  I will share with you pictures of my home as it is now and what it is becoming (along with the whole story).

Second, my body.  If you cruise down my previous posts on this blog, you will see that a significant change happened in my life almost two years ago and that had an effect on my body...but mostly my perception of my body.  I will share that whole story too.  A couple weeks ago, I discovered a very brave thing my friend, Allison, was doing.  She was challenged by our RADICAL study at church to do something radical about her body--she began a journey, as I am doing, to change in a radical way, in order to be ready for what God calls her to.  In this, she began to publicly post her weight and her progress.  What an incredible thing.  She is doing so well and I admire her.  I plan to do something similar, but I am not so much on a mission to lose weight (though I believe that will happen), as much as I am seeking to be in better shape and eat better and develop healthy eating habits that will make me ready for what God wants to do with me.  Again, I will share everything in another post.

Lastly, I am restoring order to my relationships.  The very first step in that is to put those relationships in the correct order, starting with spending quality time every day with Holy God.  That has been the biggest influence on what I am doing and where I am going.

So, my shoes are on, my sink is shiny, my heart is seeking and I am ready...set...go! 

I am such a slacker

So, here we are in 2010 and I have not posted but 2 blogs in the last year. That's sad.

I plan to start posting when I find an incredible deal at the store here...I began couponing last year in August. I am going to add up my total expenses and my total savings since then and post them here. I am excited to see what I have done. All I know is that I always have plenty of food and laundry detergent in the house.

I have also been dealing with the Lupus thing for the past year. It hasn't been awful, but I have had some really bad weeks. Just general aches and pains...things that make it hard to get out of bed most mornings, but when I do get up and moving, it's usually not bad. I praise God for that, because I know others who have it much, much worse.

The kids are growing like crazy. Caleb has discovered that Santa and the Tooth Fairy are not real, but it took it really well. I don't think we are going to even going to try it with Jack. He doesn't care about Santa anyway.

Jack is now taking on some of my sense of cleanliness. It's very funny. I say "some" because he will walk into a room and go, "This is very messy!" but then walk away. :)

Caleb is being tested for the intellectual gifted, and may be moved up into 3rd grade for a few classes. I don't want to rush him, but I don't want him getting so bored that he becomes a distraction.

Alright...back to other things now. But I wanted to say something for 2010. If I do no other blogs, at least I have done one this year. :) Hopefully, if I do more, they will be a bit more organized that this.

R

My Review of Eyeshadow

EyesLipsFace.com

Bring a touch of natural beauty to your eyes with these soft, translucent shades that add subtle highlights for daytime or increased drama for night. With key vitamins A & B, these eyeshadows hydrate and minimize the appearance of fine lines. Available in an array of light-reflecting color opt...

Eyeshadow

Not what I expected

Rachel the Songprincess LaVergne, TN 2/9/2009

 

4 5

Pros: Smooth Look, Easy To Apply

Cons: Colors aren't true

Best Uses: Everyday, Going Out

Describe Yourself: Classic Style

I bought these colors to replace another product I had run out of. I was not happy with the colors, even though they were exactly the colors that I was replacing, at least according to the website. That is the one drawback to not having a place I can see these products before I buy them. However, at $3, I can afford to buy more colors and experiment.

()

Yes Mom...I am updating my "blob"...

(My mom sent me an email to ask me to update my "blob" -- she accidentally misspelled the word--she does actually know what she meant to say. So here we go...)


So here we are... a new year... new resolutions... what else... oh, a new challenge. I wasn't sure I wanted to do this, because I hate it when people look at you differently because you reveal something about yourself. But someone said something to me today that I took to heart. Open yourself to receive the blessing of people caring. So, in that vein, and in an effort to keep my family and friends updated, and even slightly less important, for posterity, I will begin to blog here about my new "friend"... SLE, or Systemic Lupus Erythematosus.

On Christmas Eve, my doctor called to have me come in to discuss some test results (never a good sign). I was a bit worried when they couldn't just tell me over the phone, "Hey, everything is great... go have a great holiday!" So, I went in, praying all the while that God would calm my nerves and keep them from hospitalizing me because of suddenly skyrocketing blood pressure.

When I got there, my doctor revealed the big news...that all my seemingly unrelated symptoms that I have had over the past two years (and maybe even longer) were all due to one three-letter acronym, SLE or Lupus. Great. Now, at least I have a name for all of it, and I know I am not going crazy or becoming some paranoid hypochondriac. But at the same time, now I have to get my head around this new life-long "friend" and what it means for myself and my family.

And then, the thought occurs to me, "How is God going to use this?" I don't have an answer to that yet, but what amazed me is that I thought that. There was a point, not too long ago that I would have thrown my hands up and said, "Why me? Poor me! What am I going to do now?" Me, me me, my, my, my, I, I, I. Wow. As I type these words, I still can't get over the fact that this thought even happened and, though I have had these moments of, "What now?" I haven't seemed to have lost perspective on the fact that this is about something so much greater than myself... and I just pray that God helps me keep that perspective through all of this.

I have been told that what I have been experiencing for the last month is not a full-fledged flare. Fantastic. I have more fun to look forward to. (How's that for a little alliteration?) I have had some swelling and pain and fatigue and memory loss, but not to the extent that it could be or may be in the future.

But here's the cool thing. God has put some amazing people into my life... a couple of friends that deal with chronic pain, a person who worked in rheumatology for a few years, and a wonderfully supportive group of friends and family that could help me process and handle whatever is to come. Not only help me, but help my family deal with it as well. And through it all, God gave me an amazing husband that has been understand, helpful, supportive, loving, kind and altogether wonderful, even in this period of not knowing what was wrong.

Well now we know and now you know and now, the journey begins. I don't know how God is going to use this yet, but I know he will. I hope that maybe by journaling here, someone will be touched or inspired or helped or given hope. Don't look at me differently because I have some "dreaded" ACRONYM... look at me differently because I have hope... hope that goes far beyond being able to deal with the ACRONYM... hope that extends to whatever God has planned for the lives of his children in spite of the ACRONYM. And that just makes me smile.

Romans 12:12
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

P.S. Tomorrow, I plan to write about Christmas (I know, wrong order... Christmas, THEN New Year, but oh, well... this is how I roll). We had some pretty amazing things happen over Christmas that I simply must share.

Consequences...

A face full of dirt.

That's the consequence for trying to stop a 2 1/2 year old from throwing a handful of dirt.

And that is precisely what happened to me today.

I was talking with a mother and her little boy was playing in the dirt, as little boys do, but it was time for Mom to go and so in an attempt to help her get her boy to the car, I tried to extract him from the dirt and set him on the path to the car and his hand came back and I got the dirt in my face, up my nose, in my mouth and covering my glasses. Such is life when you are dealing with boys.

But it started me thinking about the consequences of some of our best intended actions. Like trying to reason with the man at the desk next to yours that clicking his pen, incessantly, while you are trying to work, is about to drive you out of your skull, or trying to convince the driver in front of you in the fast lane that is driving about 35 miles an hour that he needs to move over by flashing your high beams at him.

Or trying to convince someone that the spiritual path they are on is a dangerous one and is going to keep them from seeing that all-too-commercialized version of heaven they think they are going to see because they are a "good person".

See, it is our actions, much more than our words, that find a person where they are and make them take notice. Its not the words that tell them what it is to be a Christ-follower or what peace and joy you can reap from such a life. It is our kindness to the unkind, our love for the unlovable, our grace to the undeserving that shows Christ in us. And sometimes, even then, you still get rejected, taunted, laughed at, spit upon or ignored. But the seeds you plant with the person you are showing God's infinite love and compassion to will grow...God can do a great work in them, and you may never know it. The last thing you may remember about that person is the awful way they rejected you, and ultimately your Savior. But Jesus said, "The Son of Man came to seek and save the lost," and in Psalm 118:22, "The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone." Some builders will reject Jesus (through you), but ultimately, He will be lifted up and you along with Him.

So sometimes you will be successful in your good intentions...and sometimes you will end up cast aside, but in it all, God is in control.

Wow...that's a lot to have learned just from a face full of dirt...

And then I am blessed...

Get out your tissues...

I had to share what my son did to bless me just a few moments ago.

I went to change Jack's diaper (and we all know what a blessing that is), and he kept pointing at me saying, "Twee, twee." But I had no idea what he was talking about. So in an effort to understand him, I leaned into him so he could touch what he was pointing at. He touched the flower (dandylion) that Caleb had given me that I was wearing behind my ear. I said, "Oh, the flower...yes, I suppose that is a tiny tree." He looked me right in the eyes and very meaningfully said, "Pwee twee." To which I replied, "Yes, Jack, that is a very pretty tree."



It was the first time he put two words together and I understood what he was saying. It was very sweet.

Wait

Have you ever felt useless? I know I have. I know others who have. Some feel useless because they don't believe they have marketable skills. Some feel useless because they didn't finish school. Some feel useless because they don't have what they thought they would have by this time. Some because they are too old. Some because they are too fat. Some because they aren't pretty enough. Some because they think themselves stupid. Some because they are pessimists. Some because they are sure the entire world is out to get them. Some because they feel like God has abandoned them...

But think about those times when you have felt useful. Everyone has them...even if they don't feel useful now. Sometimes you have to dig down deep to remember that feeling because it's been a long time. When you have helped someone solve a problem. When you have been that shoulder to cry on. When you've brought food or clothing to someone because they needed it. When you have sung your child to sleep after a bad dream. When you've made dinner for friends. When you've told someone you love them. Sometimes those moments are fleeting because we, as humans tend to focus on all the things that make us useless, rather than what makes us useful.

For those like me who believe that God loves us and sacrificed His son for us, how can we ever really believe that we are useless? What in the world would He have sacrificed Jesus for, if we had no usefulness? That's foolish...and God is not.

We have been told over and over that God has a purpose for each one of us...that He has planted a desire in our heart and a gift in our spirit and a talent in our hands and He wouldn't just mismatch these things. They will line up. He promised that. He said he would give us the desires of our heart. He planted it there, He will make it bloom. But He didn't say when.


The problem is waiting...God's human creations have no patience. The flowers do, the animals do...but we don't. And thus the human existance is one of worry and bitterness and self-loathing because WE can't make it happen for ourselves. We place the blame on ourselves for not figuring out what we are supposed to do RIGHT NOW. How arrogant of us. This is not about us...this is about God and His glory.

So, here am I...use me as You will, Lord. I struggle for patience, yes. But I wait on you, Lord. You have planted this flower...I will wait for you to make it bloom.

That's the prayer I hope we can all have. He PROMISED. And God will not betray His children. I know it. I embrace it. I wait.

Wassup?

I have some profound things to say, but I haven't quite gotten the words in the right order in my head yet...so I will save that for naptime tomorrow. In the meantime, I have some photos to share.


Brothers...the cutest on the planet.


Look at the amount of cheese on that face...just like his father.


Me and my oldest.


Wearing Bubba's shoes...


They are both crazy...


Jack loves Buttercup!


We are working on getting that tooth out, but it just won't seem to come...he's hoping for an "America's Funniest Home Video" out of this.

Goodnight all!

Feeling blah...

You know those days...just not feeling up to scratch...well, that's today for me. Little bit of a sore throat, a headache, though that comes from caffeine withdrawal, and kind of fatigued.

I have a lot on my mind at the moment...the biggest thing being I can't seem to find any motivation for anything...I need to find additional income, and though I have a couple of options, none are exciting me...why do I feel so apathetic? I want to sing...that's what I want to do...that's what I have ALWAYS wanted to do...why can't I just make money at that? Huh? Guess that would be because I am not working for it. I can't believe that my music career is gone simply because of age or family...I just know that the timing is not right now. I'll know when the time comes, if it comes...but there are other things I need to be focused on...like my family.

That's what I am doing...

God grant me patience in your timing...that is my plea today.

That's all I have to say today...just a blah kind of day...

My bra is on backwards...

That comes from a quote submitted by Funny.co.uk:
You know its going to be a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

Well, that's today. It has just been an all-around rotten day. Jack was in quite a state today, I didn't seem to get anything accomplished and every time I tried, Jack made it apparent that if all my attention wasn't on him WE were going to be miserable and then Caleb added his contribution by continually ignoring everything I said.

I didn't get the bathrooms cleaned, I didn't get my bed changed, I couldn't do the dishes because Jack wanted to "help", and I couldn't cook nor did I want to eat because I was just so frustrated by the time Michael walked in the door, I just wanted to be alone.


Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband that let me escape for a while and even more thankfully, tomorrow is a new day...but good lord, if I have another day like today, I think I may have to go back to work... :) Just kidding...I wouldn't trade this for anything, but some days are just like running on a hampster wheel.

Completely different train of thought (all aboard the Jump-the-Track Express):
By the way, I am looking for part-time employment (hopefully at the Y) where I can bring my son or work out of my home...just be in prayer for me about that. I need adult time during the day...and the extra moola won't come amiss either. :)

All is quiet...

So I am sitting here at home on the first day of school in my stay-at-home-momdom and it’s awfully quiet. Jack is napping and I am almost lonely…I’ve just gotten used to two months of it never being quiet (less noisy, maybe, but never quiet) and I am having a hard time thinking about what its going to be like having this every day. I am sure I will get used to it and a routine will begin to take shape, but for the time being, it’s much too quiet here.

I haven’t written in over a month and that has made me bottle a lot up too. So here are a few things that have happened this summer:


We’ve gone to the zoo several times…that was cool. No, actually, it was extremely not cool, temperature-wise, but we did have fun! Let me just say, the building that has the lizards and frogs and snakes and fish and stuff, has displays of bugs that are far too large to be allowed to continue to live. I’m not trying to question God here, but, well, EWWWW! I can only say that if I ever run into one of these bugs and I haven’t passed out or I can manage to overcome my compulsive instinct to put as much distance between myself and the creatures that Adam should have stepped on instead of naming them, I will finish that job (of stepping on, or filleting or napalming, whatever).

My mother-in-law came to visit for a few days and Michael and I got an evening out to go see our friend Beth in “Smoke on the Mountain.” Very cute show. We had fun. And the boys were delighted to spend some time with Cece. That doesn’t happen very often. We are thinking about going south for the Christmas holiday and spending time with her. There’s nothing like spending Christmas on a chaise lounge with suntan lotion and a Mai Tai!


And we made our annual trip to Michigan to go canoeing down the Platte River in the northern part of the Lower Peninsula. As always, we LOVE this trip. And it was even more special because our bestest friends, the Bakers, got to join us this year! We spent Thursday, Friday and Sunday at my parents house on Dodge Lake tubing and cruising around the lake in Dad’s new pontoon boat. Saturday we spent lazing down the Platte in tubes and on floats. There were 28 of us on the river this year…a great group. Then back to the campground for dinner and s’mores and story telling… And let me tell you…Michael and I got so hooked on “Electronic Catchphrase” that we almost didn’t let the Bakers leave because we where having so much fun with it! Now we have to find one and host a party…there’s nothing like yelling at your friends and trying to get them to guess some of the most obscure phrases or words using even more obscure clues and gestures!


So, I think now that I have wiled away a few minutes here recapping my summer, I will go do some laundry and see if I can catch that darn sock faery. I am missing quite a few socks and I know she has them somewhere…

Happy Fourth!

This year, like last, we spent the fourth at a friend's house and then went to MTSU for the symphony and fireworks...very fun! I always enjoy being with our friends!

There's not much to write, but here are two things. First, do I look 31 to you? I don't feel it.


Second...I had a litte fun with Caleb's hair...he asked me to, let's be clear, but I went a little over the top...as I told my friend earlier this evening, it's not his act of rebellion, it's mine!

I took lots of photos...here are a few.


Jack's first time on a real swing that no one had to hold him in...he wasn't sure what to think...


A few sparklers before going off to see the big fireworks.


I have a feeling these three are going to be trouble in the very near future!


Here is Jack bustin' a move to the groovy orchestra that was playing.


Caleb's hair in all its glory!


Don't eat the baby...there are plenty of hot dogs...

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN you put those "3-D Fireworks Glasses" over the lens of your camera...pretty cool:





I am sure I will have something really profound to say about this great country we live in tomorrow, but tonight, I just wanted to post a few photos and share the fun evening we had! Hope you had a great 4th too! God Bless America!

Another year older...

So, tomorrow is my birthday. Yes, I am a firecracker baby and my mother got to watch the fireworks from the hospital window (I don't actually know if she could see them from her room, but you get the point).

I usually forget how old I am until someone asks. I've not been one of those that seems to have a problem with getting older. I figure as long as I still feel young, then I will be young. I do feel more aches and pains now than I did 15 years ago, but that's okay...I can still roll with the best of them.

The only thing I find myself being melancholy about is how fast the time has seemed to pass. I can still remember every detail about most events in my life, most of which took place 10 or more years ago. It certainly doesn't feel like that much time has passed since I was in high school or even college...but it sure has and I didn't imagine myself where I am today, but I wouldn't change it for the world! I love my boys!

So, tomorrow, I just want to relax and have a good day...and maybe some chocolate cake...and that will be good!

Here's a few pictures from the last few days:

Old New Hobby...

So I am getting excited about getting back into scrapbooking. Now, I began scrapping (or at least buying the stuff for it) when my sista in MI started selling it (before my first son was born). I did a total of 6 pages before it got stuffed
in a box with all the best intentions but no time made...

Shortly after my first son was born, I DID get it out once to make a small 5x7 scrapbook for my grandmother when they moved her to the Alzheimer's wing of an assisted living center. Because I didn't live near my grandmother and she rarely got to see her newest great-grandbaby, I made a scrapbook of just him and gave it to her, knowing that as her memory faded, the photos would be the only link she had to us.

Then, my mother gave me set of stuff that she had bought and it too made its way to the box with more good intentions.

Then, I met my new friends who are BIG TIME SCRAPPERS! Amy, Shonna, Rebekkah and others have great ideas and no shortage of materials. Let me tell you how intimidated I felt when I came in with only ONE box of materials to work with. Everyone there had two or three big rolling special scrapbooking bags and more embellishments, stickers, foamies, tools, markers, scissors, papers and other materials than I have seen in most scrapbooking stores! Now, granted, they have been doing this much longer than I have, but still...I was humbled. So now I have been re-inspired. I went to the monthly scrapbooking meeting at our church for the first time last Friday and completed two pages. I was so excited...and I found lots of new toys. I desperately want a CRICUT!!! I fell in love with that. And now I have printed some photos (all mine are digital) so I can do a few layouts and then will print some more when those are completed. I have so much to learn...my first 6 pages that I did years ago are awful...but they serve a purpose. There was also much less available for scrapping that many years ago...now even the dollar store has stuff...

So...let's see if this works out as well as my blogging...seems I have been keeping up with that so far... :) (Dangit...I said that outloud...now I have jinxed it!)

Rough Days

We've (I've) had a few rough days...and I have taken it out on a few people that I didn't intend to...I know we've all been there, but it doesn't make it any easier or any more right.

Jack's not feeling great right now...I have a feeling its because he's cutting some molars. At least I hope that's what the issue is. I certainly don't want it to be anything more serious. But he's been grumpy, clingy, and uninterested in much food.

On the other hand, I have somehow been able to make dinner every night this week without too many issues...and in most cases, that's after dishes have been done, floors have been swept, toys have been put away (though they are taken right back out again in another room), surfaces have been wiped, trash has been taken out and dessert is already waiting on the counter for everything to be finished...most days, I am suprised dessert makes it to the end of the meal. I am mostly tempted to eat it long before dinner is even finished cooking.

I do enjoy being home and I enjoy the freedom that I have with that...but I am still working on some kind of a routine and the process is difficult...

Now, if I could just finish getting this stuff ready for some semblance of a yard sale...I am thinking about just moving it all to eBay. Less setting up to do...but more of looking at it in disarray in my living room, which hasn't seen much living in the last two months.

Here's a few pictures from the past few days.


Jack waking up after nap...doesn't he look chipper?


Jack sharing his chipperness with Bubby. Caleb fell asleep with his headphones on...


Jack's first day with his new shoes...every time I write the words "new shoes" I think of my friend, Tina, and her great song by the same title. It's Caleb's favorite song. I'll write about that sometime...


Even though Jack doesn't feel great, he looks fabulous! He tore apart my centerpiece and tried on my pearls...


And finally...this was Caleb's character for Rogersville Festival this year: Powder Monkey Nemo! (He picked the pose himself)

Weekend

Well, we had a good weekend...little to do and glad of it! Seems we have been running constantly.

Jack had a bit of fun this weekend:

Jack likes DocMartens!


And Daddy's hat that Papa gave him...


We tried eating with our own spoon this weekend too...that was messy!


Then we got a hair cut (and Mommy realized we need to get some new PJs for me).


Lastly, off to bed with our ducky and milk!

Caleb had some fun reading to his little brother too:


Corduroy Goes to the Doctor

And then we played a little hide-n-seek:


And hammed it up for the camera:

Found it!

Found the cable for my camera! Yay! So, here's the photos of this week's VBS Power Lab Adventure!

My Crew:

That's Sarah, Rebecca, Me, Brett, Dani, Delany, Syd, and Shelby! They were awesome!

Here's Mr. Allen as Flask the Android (I don't know about you, but we are inclined to believe that's his own personal uniform):


Here's my son on Wacky Tacky day...we had a little fun with the hair:


I'll have more to share later...gotta get up early tomorrow for Praise Team at church...5:30 is going to come quickly!

Inspired

Well, my sister-in-law has inspired me to use my blog to keep everyone updated, as I should be doing. I really don't know Jaime very well, but I would love to. I have enjoyed the times I have spent with her, but there is so much left to learn...oh the hazards of living so far away from one's family.

But in an effort to get to know her better and keep her and the rest of the family up to date (as she so appropriately said in a recent email), I shall actually attempt to write in my blog more often. I know I have had several people say something to me about not updating more often...and now that I have officially join the ranks of stay-at-home-momdom, I don't have any more restrictions on computer use and therefore don't have that excuse anymore...the only excuse I can claim anymore is laundry, crying children, mysteriously quiet children or the occasional errand that takes me out of the house! I am sure I can come up with more creative excuses (and will) later on, but for now, let's not set the bar too low that I can't at least alligator crawl underneath it.

So...a brief posting:

This week, Caleb and I are participating in VBS at church. I am a Crew Leader for 4th and 5th graders and he is in a Kindergarten crew. There are 700 some-odd students there...it is crazy! I have 7 crew members...6 girls and 1 brave boy! Today, we had Wacky Tacky day...and let me tell you...there are pictures roaming all over my church right now that show just how wacky and tacky I can be. Caleb wore a "Sanjia" style mohawk...I'll post pictures when I can find the cable to my camera...hopefully tomorrow during naptime!

Off to bed for this evening...ready to start even earlier tomorrow! Volunteer Appreciation Breakfast tomorrow. Good thing its Pajama day tomorrow...just roll out of bed and go to VBS for free grub...can't get much better than that!

Toodle-loo!

Cracker Jack's Story

On January 6, 2007, I went see my family doctor for neck and shoulder pain that radiated down my arm. Upon inspection, he sent me directly to a neurologist for an MRI due to the fact that I couldn’t have an x-ray because I was pregnant (31 weeks). I went to the neurologist the following Monday morning (Jan. 9, 2007) but made a call to my OB to let her know that my family doctor said my blood pressure was high. I left a message with the nurse and waited.

Upon arriving at the neurologist, he recommended an MRI, but because I was pregnant, he wanted to run it by my OB. He called her and she said I had already called about high blood pressure and wanted him to check it before anything else. The neurologist did and it came back 190/110. That is INCREDIBLY high for those of you that aren’t familiar with normal numbers (it should have been 120/80). My OB told the neurologist to send me directly to the hospital and forget the MRI for now.

Well, there was no going directly to the hospital…I had to get to my husband and have him drive me. So I met my husband at home and he drove me to the emergency room.

When I got into triage in the OB department, they tried to hydrate me with IV fluids, but I was so dehydrated they couldn’t find a vein. My husband, lovely creature that he is, doesn’t deal well with needles. After they had stuck me seven times and I was moaning in discomfort, he passed out. That left me freaking out on the bed and 4 nurses trying to revive my husband (at some point, one of the nurses said, “I can’t find a pulse,” referring to my husband. Of course, that was beneficial to my blood pressure…

Eventually they revived him and got me into a room and got IV fluids in me. They ran tests for 36 hours and eventually told me I could go home, but had to be on bed rest (no more than 10 minutes out of bed every hour). For those of you that know me, you will understand how hard that little task was…

The only reason I was allowed to leave the house was to go to twice weekly appointments to see my doctor. On the second visit (Jan. 19), my blood pressure had shot back up and it was time to admit me to the hospital and run more tests. With 36 more hours of tests, it was confirmed that I had pre-eclampsia and I would have to deliver the baby at 33 weeks. The ultrasound showed that little Cracker Jack was four pounds and head down…ready to go!

I was very insistent upon natural delivery, and my doctor humored me for 20 hours. I was on pitossin and magnesium (anti-seizure meds) and nothing was happening…so the doctor decided to break my water to get things moving. However, before doing that, she would do another ultrasound to make sure Cracker Jack was hunky-dory. He was fine, but now in my rib cage. Needless to say, you can’t deliver a child the natural way when he is swimming in the region of your sternum, so it was off to surgery.

I remember being scared out of my mind about the epidural and the surgery and the health and safety of the baby. I remember being wheeled into the operating room and being told to lift myself onto the operating table (which is only about 18 inches wide, I am convinced). I had already been given the epidural and the anesthesiologist said, “Your legs should be starting to feel heavy.” My response was, “I don’t know about my legs, but my butt feels quite heavy, though that’s normal.” There was an OR tech in the corner that laughed and said, “At least you still have your sense of humor,” to which I responded, “I am in naked in a room full of people I don’t know…the ONLY thing I have left is my sense of humor.”

Then Cracker Jack made his debut…at 3 pounds, 11 ounces on January 21, 2007.

I had had a friend tell me that her dad was one of the doctors in the NICU, but I had no idea what his name was. It all happened so fast. But here’s the cool thing. That friend’s dad happened to be the NICU doctor that was in the operating room with me. God is great! He knew I would be comforted by the fact that I knew someone there (kinda).

I spent one week in the hospital and Jack was there for another week, which was the hardest week of my life, I think. I was still recovering and on so many medications and trying to keep my blood pressure down that making the 25 mile trek to the hospital every day was not feasible. I got up there several times, but I didn’t want to leave, knowing that if I did, I likely wouldn’t be able to come back the next day.

But the staff at the NICU were amazing. And in no time, Jack came home.

He is now a healthy and happy 22-pound 15 month old child.

I write this for two reasons. One, to keep this story for my own memories and the accurate telling of this story for years to come. And two, to let others know what I have gone through and to give you some idea of why the March of Dimes and the families of premature babies have a special place in my heart. I can never relate to you the fear and anxiety and burden that I and my family carried for those 10 days before Jack was born and the months afterward, just worrying about how Jack would be affected by his early arrival. But I can identify with those going through it…and so that is where God has called me to be an instrument of His Grace to others.

March for Babies

Some of you know, but I have a soft spot in my heart for the families of premature babies; this, because I have one of my own...I was one of the lucky moms that got to bring my baby home...my perfect and precious Jack.

But there are many that don't get to bring that baby home for months, if at all...and I have been called to work with these families...those who are success stories, and those who are not. If you do not have children, or have not had a child prematurely, it is hard to imagine the anxiety, fear and burden that having one puts on your heart, home and family.

As part of my calling, I will be walking in the March of Dimes March for Babies on April 27th in Murfreesboro. If you can walk with me, please JOIN MY TEAM! If you can't walk with me and my family, please consider supporting me in my efforts.

The mission of the March of Dimes is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality. Help me support them in that effort by making a donation today.